Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
