We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
