I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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