we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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