This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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