Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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