so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
be right there i have to get my cape
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
