it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
