I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
