Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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