dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
