I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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