Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
