Me too!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
