i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Your cock deserves a montage
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
