I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize