i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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