actually, I'm a sock model
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
