at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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