This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
