Three words: puerto rican gang bang
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
