isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize