Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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