Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Buhtt sex?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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