Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
