I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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