Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
