How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We were destined to go to rehab together
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
