I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
