it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize