Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
