dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
