I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
