He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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