A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
