Life is so much better after having sex.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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