I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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