D3 body, D1 cock
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i wish my penis had a tongue
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
