i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
