we made out on top of his cat.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
