You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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