Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the room spins SO much faster in panama
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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