i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
