Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
