She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
