Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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