drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Randomize
