My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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