you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize