so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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