I am in a vortex of obligation.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize