He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
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