Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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