There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
