I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
