I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize