i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
