He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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