I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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