omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
In America we eat man semen.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
