I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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