Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
