I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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