Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize