there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
