I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
